50 Fun Things To Do On a Final That Does                            Not Matter


1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15minutes.Wake up, say "ohgeez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a fewminutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got thesecretdocuments!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is longanswer/essay form,answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's leftnostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate youranswers withyourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hearme thinking."Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly sayto the instructor,"I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semesterlong! What's thedeal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at maxlevel.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way torefuse to answerevery question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the groundsthat itconflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh ofrelief. Go to theinstructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into verysmall pieces,throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're reallydaring, ask foranother copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat th is processevery fifteenminutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head,and nothingelse.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be asvulgar aspossible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make oneup! Formath/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blameit on the personnearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be tapingyour nextvideo during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, bepersuasive. Tell theinstructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed tostay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to anotherseat, continuewith the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,start commentingon how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it isa multiple choiceexam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answerscompletelyblacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently,scream out"Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructorthat whether ornot everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point duringthe exam,you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tellhim/her in a veryderogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get anidea is hookedup to a clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on awhite maskand start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag youaway.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know theclass is verysmall, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim thatyou have been toevery lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "youdon't reallyexpect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore theinstructor'srequests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way oranother, beginwhistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs youcould possiblythink of. Get PI and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is awritten exam, relateeverything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through theexam. Insist thisperson is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... likehistorynotes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you'regetting kicked out too)and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attache dnotes forreferences as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,ask for theanswer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they dobefore concertsstart.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Prayto it often.Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent toyou every fewminutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,anything you canreach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you areasked to stop, say"it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you,challenging theinstructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don'tforget to use thephrase "Told you so".
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"